In Africa, cities are created where the population can not live

If you take a closer look at the evolution of the global population, it quickly becomes clear that not only are we becoming more and more people, but we are also increasingly attracting men and women to the big cities. Especially here in Germany, this is often seen as a problem, as more and more jobs disappear in the country and the supply there is increasingly worse.

The situation is similar in the countries of Africa with which I deal in our current article. In the past, we have already told you about new cities that are being built up within a few years. For example, the major project "Diamniadio" in Senegal , which will combine mobility and sustainability in the future. Money for such projects comes mainly from China .

The new cities bring many benefits to Africa. In addition to the economic growth that comes from the establishment of companies and the attracting of new investors, the quality of life for the inhabitants by a better supply will continue to rise. In this w…

How do children react to a divorce?

A divorce in couples with children has - at least - 2 levels. On one level is the separation of adults. Two partners are falling apart. On the other level, it's about separation as a parent . This separation affects primarily the children . For the children are not separated man and woman, but the parents. There is a break in her normality and her everyday life. Regardless of the model of separation, children will have to give up one parent alternately after the divorce.

The reaction patterns of divorce children

Children react very differently to the separation of their parents. According to Danish family therapist Ana Prip Brandt , there are three different reaction patterns :
  • Freeze
  • flight
  • attack
In all three cases, parents register a distance between themselves and their children.   Because children start to think about what they can "expect" their parents . The communication of the children with the parents changes. This especially concerns the things about which children like to speak freely with their parents.

The feeling of loneliness in divorce children

Another consequence of divorce is the feeling of loneliness for many children . The focus is on the parents (because it's "their" divorce, "their drama"). Thus, the children try to "help" the parents. Many children feel divorced and above all lonely and alone.

This is confirmed by the fact that far fewer children receive professional help and support than adults.

According to research in Denmark , only 11% of children receive support to overcome the crisis that constitutes a divorce. By comparison, 29% of parents seek helpand get these. In Denmark, the numbers are also far more "positive" than in many other countries, as the divorce system provides for government support and professional assistance. The state finances eg mediation, coaching and psychological help. In Austria and Germany, this form of professional support is in many cases self-financing. In some cases, mediation and psychological support are co-funded by the state. Either way, it is not "common" to be accompanied professionally or in the case of a divorce. Nevertheless, with an increasing number of my clients and clients, I have come to see them willing to accompany their children during the divorce and beyond.

What can I do if I need help?

Let us help you. Look for a family therapist / family therapist who will accompany this difficult time of transition. This is not only important to you, but primarily for your children. And for the communication between you and your children.

Because for the children the separation remains unclear. The causes are not comprehensible. The change is very real. The impact in on their everyday situation too. Because now one of them is missing. From now on, the children feel responsible for the welfare of the parent who suffers more, or outed as a victim. This puts children in a situation of taking responsibility for the welfare of their parents. Whether they want it or not. In the minds of the children, things take place that strictly speaking do not belong.

How do children react to a divorce in the long term?

In the long term, studies show that children feel directly responsible for the divorce. This is often the case, as parents often argue about education, everyday situations with children. It seems to me essential to understand that in children in the case of divorce, something else "goes off" than in adults. And that adults are often so entangled in their own feelings and needs during the divorce that they do not or do not really know what's going on with the children. Especially disputed divorces and separations tie up the energy of adults and force the focus on the unloved ex / the unloved ex. Thus, often lack the energy to deal with the situation of children.

That is why it is important to seek help before deciding to split. This is on the one hand help for oneself ( eg coaching, mediation ) and on the other hand help for the children. Divorces are long-term burglaries and kinks in your own life story. In addition, there is the effect on the long-term ability to bond and bond security of the children.

No matter what you intend to do - get help in time . To make it easier for all directly and indirectly involved people .. Studies show that separations and divorces affect your own health and your own life we ​​have a death of a loved one. Take your divorce seriously. Let us accompany you. So that you know about the consequences and effects for all involved and can act in time.


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