In Africa, cities are created where the population can not live

If you take a closer look at the evolution of the global population, it quickly becomes clear that not only are we becoming more and more people, but we are also increasingly attracting men and women to the big cities. Especially here in Germany, this is often seen as a problem, as more and more jobs disappear in the country and the supply there is increasingly worse.

The situation is similar in the countries of Africa with which I deal in our current article. In the past, we have already told you about new cities that are being built up within a few years. For example, the major project "Diamniadio" in Senegal , which will combine mobility and sustainability in the future. Money for such projects comes mainly from China .

The new cities bring many benefits to Africa. In addition to the economic growth that comes from the establishment of companies and the attracting of new investors, the quality of life for the inhabitants by a better supply will continue to rise. In this w…

If women want to go: 5 warning signs for men

Most divorces are initiated by women. In Sweden , for example, divorce is filed in 70% of cases by women. Often men do not see it coming. Because quarrels, everyday difficulties and lack of closeness are not perceived by men as a relationship threatening. Until the woman leaves. And forever. Because for women, a bad relationship is not a permanent option.

Here are 5 warning signs where men can tell that their relationship is in the red alert area.
5 warning signs for men that they want to go

1. Warning sign for a relationship: During discussions / arguments, HE withdraws

Every time YOU want to discuss / discuss something ER takes it as a criticism . Suppose that YOU want to argue. Do not go into the topic. Retires. HE sees their wishes as "cheeky" and trivializes their desire for change in the relationship.

What can you do?

Take seriously the fears and relationship grief of your wife:
  • Sit down regularly and
  • Talk to each other BEFORE the problems accumulate.
  • Show that you take the worries of your wife seriously.
  • Learn to listen. so that it arrives at your wife: Listen actively.
What do you achieve with it? Through active listening , your wife feels taken seriously and seen. This appreciation creates closeness and trust in the relationship. This is the basis for your relationship happiness and for sex with each other.
The common path to a happy relationship

2. Warning sign: He takes YOU for granted

In many cases men value their women. Just forget to show them regularly (eg in the form of little attentions ). Or, more importantly , say to your wife regularly that you love her.

Men prefer to immerse themselves in their work or in projects (classics: apartment renovation, house building) rather than cultivating relationships . And when the house / apartment is ready, she leaves (forever) ....

What can you do?

Show Your Parterin Your Love CLEARLY. With words, caresses and SURPRISES. Create relationship spaces in which you (laugh) can laugh together. Play with each other . Show your interest in her. You will see - with small signs of your love the relationship will blossom again. Your partner feels seen and loved and blossoms. An example of simple love messages can be found here .

Do you know the 5 languages ​​of love?

I like to ask this question to couples in difficulty. An American psychologist has written a bestseller that has sold millions of copies. In it he shows 5 different ways in which we want to show and receive love as human beings. Interestingly, we often know these languages, but we do not know them

  • which language of love we speak?
  • what language of love does my sweetheart wish for?

Knowing both is very important for relationships, as it makes everyday life much easier. For men, this insight is a small gift, because it makes clear that it is talking - communication - not the solution of all relationship problems. Often the women want deeds, esteem or small presents. Find out. It is worth it .. More information and the book with test and tips on how to increase the language of love can be found here .

Get to know the language of love of your wife and your relationship and you have the best remedy for divorce.
How are the tasks distributed among you?

3. Warning Signs: Tasks are unevenly distributed

Although the tasks are distributed, YOU do more than ER. It's about the harder to see handles and everyday things. Ask yourself the following questions about your relationship:
  • Who of you is cooking? How often?
  • Who will clear the table?
  • Who takes care of the laundry? Who washes, hangs up and lays together or irons?
  • Who goes shopping?
  • Who will pick up the children from kindergarten / school?
These are the easily visible things that you can divide. But who organizes the private life? Takes care of kids birthday parties, meeting friends, who covers the table and brings down the crap? Does your partner have to ask you something over and over again because you fumble in front of the TV? Or do you do it without a request? I know it's a cliche, but unfortunately one that I experience very often in couple meditations.

Do you know the self-image Fremdbild problem in your relationship?

Often, men are unaware of how much their relationship is in imbalance. They hear their women complaining and do not take it so seriously. On the one hand because communication wears off and because of the Close Communication bias we can not listen as well anymore. On the other hand, because men often misjudge the extent of danger in relationships. Here, the self-image (which I believe in the relationship to do and contribute in everyday life (eg household) of the alien image (as my wife sees) very often catastrophic from each other.

An example of a classical deviation is the extent of housework. Men tend to overestimate their share of household chores. As long as you do not cook as often, go shopping, clean, wash clothes, hang up and put together - as long as it is very unlikely that your share is well over 10%. You do not believe that? Then ask your wife. And do you also ask which part you would like to have from you?

Another example is the division when working with the children. Who brings you and brings your children as often to kindergarten or to school? Who attracts the children? Who will put you to bed? This happens when the children are small, often leading to considerable differences in the division of tasks, which then cement themselves. I know enough fathers who are proud because they bring their child 3 times a week from school or bring. But who covers "the other 7 times"?

I realize that there can be good financial reasons why women do more housework and child supervision than men do. Nevertheless, this often has a very negative effect on the relationship in the long run. Here it is necessary to counteract, before your wife turns away from you inwardly, because you at best "help" in the big (children's) or small (household) projects together, but also to understand this as your responsibility and task.

Important are these "little things", because with the years in the relationship often put everything on the scales. If one of you constantly feels you have more to do than the other, then you get a dissatisfaction that needs a valve. If you do not give your wife enough appreciation and support in everyday life and you are also at home to your husband, then it is very likely that you are dissatisfied with it.

What can you do? A few Tipps

Do something you have never done. Here is a list of options:
  • For example, bring the crap down by yourself or
  • Turn off the TV and talk to your wife one evening.
  • Listen to her without interrupting.
  • Propose to take care of the next weekend (coordination, hotel, etc.).
  • Make her many little pleasures at regular intervals.
Relieve your partner and thus create freedom and energy for the relationship. Offer to pick up the children, so they can go to the barber. Before your wife has to ask you.

Because the danger is that you can be spoiled by your wife at home "too much". This will make YOU in the eyes of your wife long term to the child in the house and your wife takes the mother role. Take care of your own proactive role in the relationship. What it brings? Your wife is happier, less tired. The best conditions for less stress in the relationship, more closeness, fun and more sex ... ..

4. Warning Signs - His hobbies shape the relationship more

In the beginning it was his hobby. Now both are mountain bikers. He loves wild action movies. Therefore, they both see it now. He always spends his time with his family on Sundays. Now they always do it together.

If her partner suggests that she should go to the theater, to the cinema, do not join. They suggest that she should do this with a friend. Especially if it is a "women's movie". Or go shopping. He is (slightly) ridiculous about the fact that she wants to see such things / exhibitions / presentations.

What can I do?

Relationship life is a give and take. Thus, both should be interested in the life, friends and hobbies of the other. Here are some examples of what you can do easily in everyday relationships so that your wife realizes that you are interested in you:
  • Watch a movie (e.g on TV) with her who likes her.
  • Go shopping with her (without pulling a long face).
  • Invite her to the theater.
Because you take part in their lives. Are you interested in it and get what happens. Because otherwise she will wonder what she wants with a partner who is only interested in his own things. And shared experiences that are desired by her are as important for a relationship as joint future projects and common interests emanating from the man. Your partner will be glad that you are doing something for you.

Get to know the partner map: Make a relationship check with your wife

The Relationship Case_ Get to know the partner map

5. Warning Sign: It does not respond to the end of a lifetime

Relationships experience ups and downs in different stages of life. Divorces often take place when the children are very young or when the children move out. Sometimes it's because the man has not yet found a suitable (new) role. He is lying on the sofa and she wants to move and realize. All classic separation and divorce reasons. Most divorces have a long history and many have one of the above triggers.

What can I do?

A man who develops in the life stages of the woman is an exciting man. A man with your partner like to grow old ....

Find out which joint future projects you want to realize in the next 5-10 years . Take care of your own life phase.

Take a close look at the partner map of your wife and you two. Because this changes regularly. Especially when it comes to a relational lapse a few years after the wedding, or when the children are out of the woods, or moved out. Other changes that classically affect the relationship are death of a loved one, unemployment or illness.

In other words - changes in the relationship are the norm and not the exception. Therefore, at regular intervals, as once a year, take the opportunity to meet the needs of your wife. Talk about where you want to go and what your common goals are.

For example, you can get to know the partner map with the relationship case by making a relationship journey with your wife . The good thing about darian is that you do not travel, but answer up to 20 questions that you choose for yourself. This creates - so many couples - a conversation and you come closer again.

And more importantly, the focus is on the future and the things you would like to do and experience with each other. And less on things that did not work in the past. You can also talk about them. For example, by doing a couple communication analysis or a mediation without a mediator. But one step at a time. First the partner map, then the fun together and then a look into the future together. Have fun trying.


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